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My sons are still under teens. They are fortunately still pretty obedient and care to listen to my words.
Recently, I was really upset to hear about a complaint about one of them. Though it was a small incident, I thought is was a good opportunity to drill down an important lesson before they become teens.
So I sat them around me and asked them one question.
“How do you know you are doing the right thing or not?”
Both had several answers that were hearsay or mostly moral science stories, that every one know but no one follows.
I think people forget to follow these good values only because of
a) Too many values leads to confusion and dilution
b) Too many distractions around us
c) Parents are doing wrong things all the time and expect their own kids to be truthful, honest, caring etc etc when, themselves, they are showing the opposite of all these values in their words and actions.
But I learnt this on my own as late as 5 years back and have stuck to it always as in the long run it has made me proud of the step I have taken when things were really difficult and confusing.
So I told my sons this;
“Whenever you have any decision to make, new activity to do, new friendship to make, just ask yourself these 3 questions?
1. Will my mom and dad be happy when they hear about it today?
2. Will I feel happy or sad thinking about it 10 years from now?
3. Will my kids be proud of me 30 years from now?
If any one of the answers is NO, that means you must not do the thing you were wanting to do or not make the friend you were interested in or not take the decision you were trying to make.”
Since they are still young, I know, it has to be reinforced by making them practically do it every week for various activities. Slowly it will be monthly, and then may be a yearly check wouldl be enough.
This has been my mantra to keep on the right track. I do not then really bother as who will be upset today or angry with me today because when the above questions say YES, then I will be happy always.
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